From: Miriam <miriam@fsf.org>
Date: Wed, 6 Sep 2023 14:20:43 +0000 (-0400)
Subject: updated theme text with zoe's corrections
X-Git-Url: https://vcs.fsf.org/?a=commitdiff_plain;h=refs%2Fheads%2F2024-dev;p=libreplanet-static.git

updated theme text with zoe's corrections
---

diff --git a/2024/includes/home-content.html b/2024/includes/home-content.html
index fddd0d18..e50df525 100644
--- a/2024/includes/home-content.html
+++ b/2024/includes/home-content.html
@@ -26,15 +26,16 @@
 <h3>About LibrePlanet: Cultivating Community</h3>
 <p>LibrePlanet: Cultivating Community will be held in March 2024 in the Boston area.</p>
 <p>Google is attacking the free internet with its <a href="https://www.defectivebydesign.org/blog/web_environment_integrity_is_an_all_out_attack_on_free_internet">"Web
-Environment Integrity"</a>, RedHat and its developer
-community quarrel with each other about <a href="https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2023/06/red-hats-new-source-code-policy-and-the-intense-pushback-explained/">RedHat's
-new source code policy</a>, and governments around
-the world are drafting <a href="https://www.fsf.org/blogs/community/from-pro-democracy-activist-to-minorities-why-people-use-tor-and-encrypted-chats">legislation that threatens free
-software and our privacy</a>. The free software
-community is needed more than ever. Come to
-LibrePlanet to discuss how to foster this community,
-how to counter current threats to free software, and
-face the challenges ahead.</p>
+Environment Integrity"</a> proposal, companies are
+excessively collecting our data to feed their Large
+Language Models without even thinking to ask, and
+governments around the world are drafting <a href="https://www.fsf.org/blogs/community/from-pro-democracy-activist-to-minorities-why-people-use-tor-and-encrypted-chats">legislation
+that threatens free software and our privacy</a>. Now,
+a growing free software community is needed more
+than ever to meet these challenges. Come to
+LibrePlanet to discuss how to foster the free software
+community, how to counter current threats to free
+software, and face the challenges ahead.</p>
 
 <p>LibrePlanet is the annual conference hosted by the Free
 Software Foundation (FSF). LibrePlanet provides an
@@ -57,7 +58,7 @@ software and fitting one of the following tracks:
 Licensing, security, community, social context, hardware,
 freedom ladder, free software documentation, free software in
 government, education, or practice, workshops, or talks that
-explore the free software concept.  In particular, speakers will
+explore the free software concept.  Following our theme, we will highlight speakers who
 show ways of effectively organizing community, increasing
 diversity, facilitating the participation of volunteers, and
 encouraging users to contribute to their favorite projects.
@@ -66,12 +67,13 @@ that invite newcomers to participate, community
 platforms that enable participation, and free software
 that attracts new users.</p>
 
-<p>For forty years, the free software movement has developed
-an incredible amount of software that respects the user's
-freedom. Free software activists have proven again and
-again that it's possible to participate in modern life
-without surrendering your freedom to large tech
+<p>Since the <a href="https://www.gnu.org/gnu40/">announcement to develop the GNU operating
+system forty years ago</a>, the free software movement has
+developed an incredible amount of software that respects
+the user's freedom. Free software activists have proven
+again and again that it's possible to participate in modern
+life without surrendering your freedom to large tech
 monopolies. Now, it is time to bring this message to
-more people and thereby set them free. Together, let's
-grow and cultivate the free software community.</p>
+more people. Together, let's grow and cultivate the free
+software community.</p>