From: Molly de Blanc <molly@fsf.org>
Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2018 22:38:31 +0000 (-0500)
Subject: updated giving guide per danam's feedback.
X-Git-Url: https://vcs.fsf.org/?a=commitdiff_plain;h=ce21714e8da01e5a736450cb64f2b0a6e87df9fb;p=fsf-giving-guide.git

updated giving guide per danam's feedback.
---

diff --git a/v9/givingguide.html b/v9/givingguide.html
index 79e51e8..3fceacd 100644
--- a/v9/givingguide.html
+++ b/v9/givingguide.html
@@ -307,7 +307,7 @@
               <li>Runs the <a href="https://www.gnu.org/distros/free-distros.en.html">FSF-endorsed</a> Trisquel operating system and libreboot firmware.</li>
               <li>Durable hardware is meant to last, and is easy to repair.</li>
               <li>Created by small businesses that replace all restrictive components from a stock laptop.</li>
-	      <li>Whether you purchase from Minifree or Technoethical, your T400 will be Respects Your Freedom certified.</li>
+	      <li>Whether you purchase from Minifree or Technoethical, your T400 will be <a href="https://fsf.org/ryf">Respects Your Freedom certified</a>.</li>
             </ul>
             <h5 class="text-center">Stay away from: Microsoft Windows</h5>
             <ul class="cons">
@@ -387,7 +387,7 @@
             <ul class="pros">
 	      <p>Why it's cool: Take it to the office, take it to the cafe, take it to class, take it home and set it up on the counter so you can rock out while you cook. Do all of this the easy way.</p>
 
-<p>This machine is made to go everywhere with you, and thanks to our friends who make RYF-certified products, you can have your mobility and your freedom, too.</p>
+	      <p>This machine is made to go everywhere with you, and thanks to our friends who make RYF-certified products, you can have your mobility and your freedom, too.</p>
             </ul>
 
           </div>
@@ -405,7 +405,7 @@
               <li>Apple has been <a href="https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/evmeya/apple-iphone-right-to-repair-california">opposing the Right to Repair</a> for years.</li>
               <li>Comes crawling with <a href="https://www.gnu.org/philosophy/proprietary-surveillance.html#SpywareInMacOS">spyware</a>.</li>
 	    <li>Avoid: MacBook Air (and MacBook Pro).</li>
-	    <li>Note: Apple laptops come complete with Intel Management Engine as well.</li>
+	    <li>Note: Apple laptops come complete with <a href="https://www.fsf.org/blogs/sysadmin/the-management-engine-an-attack-on-computer-users-freedom">Intel Management Engine</a> as well.</li>
             </ul>
           </div>
           <!--End Bad-->
@@ -486,7 +486,7 @@
 	  <!--start bad-->
           <div class="good col-md-6 col-sm-6">
             <ul class="pros">
-          <li>Runs the <a href="https://www.gnu.org/distros/free-distros.en.html">FSF-endorsed</a> Trisquel operating system with libreboot firmware.</li>
+          <li>Runs the <a href="https://www.gnu.org/distros/free-distros.en.html">FSF-endorsed</a> Trisquel operating system with Libreboot firmware.</li>
               <li>Durable hardware is meant to last, and is easy to repair.</li>
               <li>Created by a small business that replaces all restrictive components from a stock laptop.</li>
 	      </ul>
@@ -558,7 +558,7 @@
 	  <!--start bad-->
           <div class="good col-md-6 col-sm-6">
 	      <ul class="pros">
-		<li>Choose from two operating systems: the <a href="https://www.gnu.org/distros/free-distros.en.html">FSF-endorsed</a> Trisquel. or Parabola.</li>
+		<li>Choose from two operating systems: the <a href="https://www.gnu.org/distros/free-distros.en.html">FSF-endorsed</a> Trisquel, or Parabola.</li>
 		<li>Comes with free boot firmware.</li>
 		<li>You can customize and specialize this model to your needs -- the essence of user freedom!</li>
 
@@ -566,7 +566,7 @@
             <h5 class="text-center">Stay away from: Apple iMac</h5>
             <ul class="cons">
 	      <p>An iMac puts designers and filmmakers at risk:</p>
-              <li><a href="https://www.adobe.com/products/premiere-rush.html">Adobe Premiere Rush</a> rents Mac (and Windows) users access to video editing software in exchange for control over their files.</li>
+              <li>Adobe Premiere Rush rents Mac (and Windows) users access to video editing software in exchange for control over their files.</li>
 	      </ul>
 	   <h5 class="text-center">Stay away from: Alienware Area-51 Threadripper</h5>
             <ul class="cons">
@@ -641,7 +641,7 @@
                 MakerWare software is proprietary, <a href="https://gnu.org/proprietary">restricting freedom and stifling creativity</a>.
               </li>
               <li>
-                MakerBot was founded with a more freedom-respecting philosophy, but has since <a href="https://www.cnet.com/news/pulling-back-from-open-source-hardware-makerbot-angers-some-adherents/">announced an increasingly proprietary approach</a> and distanced itself from the community that formed around it.
+MakerBot was founded with a more freedom-respecting philosophy, but <a href="https://www.cnet.com/news/pulling-back-from-open-source-hardware-makerbot-angers-some-adherents/">has since announced</a> an increasingly proprietary approach and distanced itself from the community that formed around it.   
               </li>
             </ul>
           </div>
@@ -752,7 +752,7 @@
   
  <!--start pros-->
             <ul class="pros">
-	      <p>Why it's cool: Trying to go 100% free but stuck with a proprietary Wi-Fi card? just plug this into your USB port and you're ready to go.</p>
+	      <p>Why it's cool: Trying to go 100% free but stuck with a proprietary Wi-Fi card? Just plug this into your USB port and you're ready to go.</p>
             </ul>
 	    </div>
 
@@ -864,7 +864,7 @@
             <div class="col-md-7 col-sm-6">
               <ul class="pros">
                 <li>Designed to complement your existing router by providing a VPN that enhances privacy and security and circumvents network controls.</li>
-                <li>Designed for easy set-up.</li>
+                <li>Designed for easy setup.</li>
                 <li>As free as can be: runs the <a href="https://www.gnu.org/distros/free-distros.en.html">FSF-endorsed</a> LibreCMC operating system on hardware that is certified to <a href="https://www.fsf.org/ryf">Respect Your Freedom</a>.</li>
               </ul>
             </div>
@@ -883,7 +883,7 @@
             <h5 class="text-center">DRM-free Ebooks</h5>
 
             <ul class="pros">
-	      <p>There are <a href="https://www.defectivebydesign.org/guide/ebooks">plenty of places</a> to get your literature fix without any pesky DRM. We're highlighting some publishers and shops!</p>
+	      <p>There are <a href="https://www.defectivebydesign.org/guide/ebooks">plenty of places</a> to get your literature fix without any pesky DRM. We're highlighting some publishers and shops you should patronize below!</p>
 	      <li><a href="https://leanpub.com/">Leanpub</a> is an author driven ebook Web site encouraging people to "publish early, publish often."</li>
 	      <li><a href="https://lektu.com/">Lektu</a> provides you with media in Spanish.</li>
 	      <li><a href="https://www.manning.com/ebooks">Manning Publications</a> has audio and video in addition to ebooks.</li>
@@ -984,7 +984,7 @@
         <h2 class="title text-center"></h2>
         <div class="row is-table-row">
           <div class="good col-md-6 col-sm-6" style="position:relative">
-	      <p>Sadly, there is not always the opportunity to choose freedom. You have to decide what is the right thing for you to do. We've highlighted some of the types of devices where there isn't a good choice. We hope you'll take this list as inspiration for the free software projects you contribute to and support.</p>
+	      <p>Sadly, there is not always the opportunity to choose freedom. You have to decide what is the right thing for you to do. In this section of our guide, we've highlighted some of the types of devices where there isn't a good choice. We hope you'll take this list as inspiration for the free software projects you contribute to and support.</p>
           </div>
           <!--End Good-->
 
@@ -1066,7 +1066,7 @@
             <ul style="list-style: none inside none;">
                <li id="libiquity-promotion"><strong>Libiquity:</strong> Receive a 10% rebate off your subtotal price for any items you buy from the Web site. Libiquity will donate 5% of each purchase's subtotal price to the FSF. Ends at 00:00 EST on February 1st, 2019. Claim the rebate by sending the code <span class="label label-default">FSFGIVING</span> and your order number to <a href="mailto:sales@libiquity.com">sales@libiquity.com</a>. Libiquity will then credit the rebate amount to your payment method.</li>
                <li id="lulzbot-promotion"><strong>LulzBot: </strong><a href="https://www.lulzbot.com/lulzbot-sales-clearance-items">features sales and clearance items on their Web site.</li>
-	        <li id="technoethical-promotion"><strong>Technoethical:</strong> 5% discount on <b>all</b> purchases using the coupon code <span class="label label-default">FSFHOLIDAYS</span>. FSF members get an addition 10% off, using the code <span class="label label-default">FSREWARDS</span>.</li>
+	        <li id="technoethical-promotion"><strong>Technoethical:</strong> 5% discount on <b>all</b> purchases using the coupon code <span class="label label-default">FSFHOLIDAYS</span>. FSF members get an additional 10% off, using the code <span class="label label-default">FSREWARDS</span>.</li>
 		      <li id="thinkpenguin-promotion"><strong>ThinkPenguin:</strong> 5% discount on <b>all</b> products is available to <a href="https://fsf.org/join">FSF members</a>, and a special 7% discount for the Giving Guide, using the code <span class="label label-default"> FSFMEMBER</span>.</li>
                       <li id="vikings-promotion"><strong>Vikings:</strong> 5% discount on <b>all</b> products and services between now and February 1, 2019. <b>Help the FSF:</b> Vikings will also make a donation to the FSF for each product purchased using the coupon code  <span class="label label-default">fsfftw</span>.</li>