From: Molly de Blanc <molly@fsf.org>
Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2018 21:36:43 +0000 (-0500)
Subject: updated per john h suggestions.
X-Git-Url: https://vcs.fsf.org/?a=commitdiff_plain;h=a4cb36f8562b572e7ca077571d1dfafcec9642b5;p=fsf-giving-guide.git

updated per john h suggestions.
---

diff --git a/v9/givingguide.html b/v9/givingguide.html
index fce1ac3..bc5beb1 100644
--- a/v9/givingguide.html
+++ b/v9/givingguide.html
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@
         <ul class="nav navbar-nav">
           <li><a class="animated fadeIn" href="https://www.fsf.org/about/">About the FSF</a></li>
           <li><a class="animated fadeIn" href="https://www.fsf.org/campaigns/">Campaigns</a></li>
-          <li><a class="animated fadeIn" href="https://www.fsf.org/donate/">Donate</a></li>
+          <li><a class="animated fadeIn" href="https://my.fsf.org/donate?pk_campaign=fall18&pk_kwd=ggdonate">Donate</a></li>
           <li><a class="animated fadeIn" href="https://shop.fsf.org/">Shop</a>
           </ul>
 
@@ -202,7 +202,7 @@
             <!-- End Buy/Download button -->
 
             <ul class="pros">
- <p>Why it's cool: Your smartphone is so much more than a phone: it's a tiny computer you carry with you every day, and for many people around the world, it's their only internet-enabled device. Choosing one of these phones lets you bring software freedom everywhere you go. You <i>can</i> have a phone that respects your freedoms while still making calls, running your favorite apps, and sending all the text messages you want.</p>
+ <p>Why it's cool: Your smartphone is so much more than a phone: it's a tiny computer you carry with you every day, and for many people around the world, it's their only Internet-enabled device. Choosing one of these phones lets you bring software freedom everywhere you go. You <i>can</i> have a phone that respects your freedoms while still making calls, running your favorite apps, and sending all the text messages you want.</p>
 
 <p>	     You can also get an <a href="https://tehnoetic.com/tehnoetic-s2-phone-replicant">S2</a> or an <a "https://tehnoetic.com/tet-n2">N2 phone/tablet</a>, complete with Replicant.</p>
             </ul>
@@ -219,7 +219,6 @@
               <li>
                 Features <a href="https://www.f-droid.org/">F-Droid</a>, the free software catalog that makes it easy to get all the applications you need without sacrificing control of your phone.
               </li>
-	      <li>10% of sales profits from Technoethical are donated to Replicant.</li>
 	      <li>Note: While the main processor exclusively runs free software, the modem processor runs a Samsung nonfree system.</li>
             </ul>
 
@@ -308,7 +307,7 @@
               <li>Runs the <a href="https://www.gnu.org/distros/free-distros.en.html">FSF-endorsed</a> Trisquel operating system and libreboot firmware.</li>
               <li>Durable hardware is meant to last, and is easy to repair.</li>
               <li>Created by small businesses that replace all restrictive components from a stock laptop.</li>
-	      <li>Whether you purchase from Minifree or Technoethical, your T400 will be Respects your Freedom certified.</li>
+	      <li>Whether you purchase from Minifree or Technoethical, your T400 will be Respects Your Freedom certified.</li>
             </ul>
             <h5 class="text-center">Stay away from: Microsoft Windows</h5>
             <ul class="cons">
@@ -561,12 +560,12 @@
 	      <ul class="pros">
 		<li>Choose from two operating systems: the <a href="https://www.gnu.org/distros/free-distros.en.html">FSF-endorsed</a> Trisquel. or Parabola.</li>
 		<li>Comes with free boot firmware.</li>
-		<li>You can customize and specialize this model to your needs – the essence of user freedom!</li>
+		<li>You can customize and specialize this model to your needs -- the essence of user freedom!</li>
 
             </ul>
             <h5 class="text-center">Stay away from: Apple iMac</h5>
             <ul class="cons">
-	      <p>An iMac puts designers and film makers at risk:</p>
+	      <p>An iMac puts designers and filmmakers at risk:</p>
               <li><a href="https://www.adobe.com/products/premiere-rush.html">Adobe Premiere Rush</a> rents Mac (and Windows) users access to video editing software in exchange for control over their files.</li>
 	      </ul>
 	   <h5 class="text-center">Stay away from: Alienware Area-51 Threadripper</h5>
@@ -624,22 +623,22 @@
             </noscript>
             <!-- End Buy/Download button -->
             <ul class="pros">
-              <p>Why it's cool: Think ahead &mdash; if you give this to your friend or relative, they might use it next year to make YOU a gift.</p>
+              <p>Why it's cool: Think ahead -- if you give this to your friend or relative, they might use it next year to make YOU a gift.</p>
 
-<p>3D printers are an amazing learning and exploration tool for kids and a fun toy for grownups, and they've come a long way from their origins in the early 2000s. Keep it free and fun by digging into the zillions of free software options for modeling, and communities that share freely licensed designs.</p>
+<p>3D printers are an amazing learning and exploration tool for kids and a fun toy for grownups, and they've come a long way from their origins in the early 2000s. Keep it free and fun by digging into the thousands of free software options for modeling, and communities that share freely licensed designs.</p>
 	    </ul>
           </div>
           <!--End Good-->
 
           <div class="good col-md-6 col-sm-6">
 	    <ul class="pros">
-              <li>Performance and seamless interface <a href="https://www.tomsguide.com/us/best-3d-printers,review-2236.html">earned it "Editor's Choice"</a> in <em>Tom's Guide</em>'s 2017 3D printer comparison.</li>
+              <li>Performance and seamless interface <a href="https://www.tomsguide.com/us/best-3d-printers,review-2236.html">earned it "Editor's Choice"</a> in <em>Tom's Guide</em>'s 2018 3D printer comparison.</li>
               <li>Hardware designs are available to make customization easy. Standardized material format allows 3D printing with plastics, wood-, stone-, bamboo-, rubber-, and metal-like materials.</li>
             </ul>
             <h5 class="text-center">Stay away from: MakerBot</h5>
             <ul class="cons">
               <li>
-                MakerWare software is proprietary, <a href="https://gnu.org/proprietary">restricting freedom and stifling 
+                MakerWare software is proprietary, <a href="https://gnu.org/proprietary">restricting freedom and stifling creativity</a>.
               </li>
               <li>
                 MakerBot was founded with a more freedom-respecting philosophy, but has since <a href="https://www.cnet.com/news/pulling-back-from-open-source-hardware-makerbot-angers-some-adherents/">announced an increasingly proprietary approach</a> and distanced itself from the community that formed around it.
@@ -761,8 +760,7 @@
             <ul class="pros">
               <li>Great for all-free-software installations on laptops with incompatible Wi-Fi hardware.</li>
               <li><a href="https://www.fsf.org/ryf">Certified to Respect Your Freedom</a>.</li>
-	      <li>Options from Technoethical and ThinkPenguin.</li>
-	      <li>If you use a laptop listed in this guide, an adapter like this won't be necessary.</li>
+	      <li>If you use a laptop listed in this Guide, an adapter like this won't be necessary.</li>
             </ul>
           </div>
         </div>
@@ -816,7 +814,6 @@
             <ul class="pros">
               <li>More powerful than its smaller cousin, and can be further upgraded with a larger antenna.</li>
               <li><a href="https://www.fsf.org/ryf">Certified to Respect Your Freedom</a>.</li>
-	      <li>Multiple options from Technoethical and ThinkPenguin.</li>
             </ul>
           </div>
         </div>
@@ -887,7 +884,7 @@
 
             <ul class="pros">
 	      <p>There are <a href="https://www.defectivebydesign.org/guide/ebooks">plenty of places</a> to get your literature fix without any pesky DRM. We're highlighting some publishers and shops!</p>
-	      <li><a href="https://leanpub.com/">Leanpub</a> is an author driven ebook Web site encouraging people to "publis early, publish often."</li>
+	      <li><a href="https://leanpub.com/">Leanpub</a> is an author driven ebook Web site encouraging people to "publish early, publish often."</li>
 	      <li><a href="https://lektu.com/">Lektu</a> provides you with media in Spanish.</li>
 	      <li><a href="https://www.manning.com/ebooks">Manning Publications</a> has audio and video in addition to ebooks.</li>
 	      <li><a href="https://nostarch.com/">No Starch Press</a> offers "the finest in geek entertainment."</li>
@@ -935,8 +932,9 @@
           <div class="good col-md-6 col-sm-6">
             <ul class="cons">
 	      <h5 class="text-center">Stay away from: Spotify (and all other major streaming services)</h5>
-           <p>Spotify is only one of many offenders when it comes to putting DRM in music: all major streaming services do this, with the support of big record labels.</p>
-	   <p>In addition to streaming music encumbered by DRM, people who want to use Spotify are required to install additional proprietary software. Even <a href="https://www.spotify.com/us/download/linux/">Spotify's client for GNU/Linux</a> relies on proprietary software.</p>
+	      <ul>
+	   <li>Spotify is only one of many offenders when it comes to putting DRM in music: all major streaming services do this, with the support of big record labels.</li>
+	   <li>In addition to streaming music encumbered by DRM, people who want to use Spotify are required to install additional proprietary software. Even <a href="https://www.spotify.com/us/download/linux/">Spotify's client for GNU/Linux</a> relies on proprietary software.</li>
             </ul>
           </div>
           <!--End Bad-->
@@ -950,13 +948,12 @@
         <h3 class="title text-center">Video</h3>
         <div class="row is-table-row">
           <div class="good col-md-6 col-sm-6">
-            <h5 class="text-center">DRM-free Video</h5>
+            <h5 class="text-center">DRM-free video</h5>
             <ul class="pros">
 	      <p>As winter comes to the Northern Hemisphere, it's the perfect time to curl up under a blanket and watch some DRM-free video. In the Southern Hemisphere? Enjoy relaxing with a great movie actually owned by you.</p>
               <p>You can <a href="https://www.defectivebydesign.org/guide/video">find your DRM-free video fix</a> at places including:</p>
 	      <li><a href="http://www.comedydirect.com/">ComedyDirect</a> can make you laugh while storing your videos locally.</li>
 	      <li><a href="https://archive.org/details/movies">Moving Image Archive</a> is a section of <a href="https://archive.org">Archive.org</a> containing thousands of film releases, available to stream or download.</li>
-	      <li><a href="https://durian.blender.org/download/">Sintel</a> has a huge selection of DRM-free films made with free software.</li>
 	      <li><a href="http://wolfeondemand.com/">WolfeOnDemand</a> provides for all of your LGBTQ watching desires.</li>
 	    </ul>
 
@@ -1065,7 +1062,7 @@
                   <h1 class="fix-margin">Promotion details</h1>
                 </div>
                 <div class="panel-body" id="promotion-details">
-<h2>Companies, distributors, and makers of freedom-friendly gadgets and media want to make it easier for you to give gifts that you feel good about. Check out these discounts and promotions.</h2>
+<h2>Companies, distributors, and makers of freedom-friendly gadgets want to make it easier for you to give gifts that you feel good about. Check out these discounts and promotions.</h2>
             <ul style="list-style: none inside none;">
                <li id="libiquity-promotion"><strong>Libiquity:</strong> Receive a 10% rebate off your subtotal price for any items you buy from the Web site. Libiquity will donate 5% of each purchase's subtotal price to the FSF. Ends at 00:00 EST on February 1st, 2019. Claim the rebate by sending the code <span class="label label-default">FSFGIVING</span> and your order number to <a href="mailto:sales@libiquity.com">sales@libiquity.com</a>. Libiquity will then credit the rebate amount to your payment method.</li>
                <li id="lulzbot-promotion"><strong>LulzBot: </strong><a href="https://www.lulzbot.com/lulzbot-sales-clearance-items">features sales and clearance items on their Web site.</li>
@@ -1151,11 +1148,11 @@
                 <p>The FSF is a nonprofit with a worldwide mission to advance software freedom —
                   <a href="https://fsf.org/about">learn about our history and work.</a>
                 </p>
-                <p>Version 8.0. Copyright © 2004-2017
+                <p>Version 9.0. Copyright © 2004-2018
                   <a href="https://fsf.org/about/contact.html" title="Find out how to contact us">
                     Free Software Foundation
                   </a>, Inc.
-                  <a href="https://my.fsf.org/donate/privacypolicy.html"> Privacy Policy</a>.
+                  <a href="https://www.fsf.org/about/free-software-foundation-privacy-policy"> Privacy Policy</a>.
                 </p>
               </div>
             </div>