Remove use of nullArray in delete hooks

Remove use of nullArray in delete hooks

Looking at #18995 I was struck by the delete hook being non-standard. In general we don't load from the DB just to pass
to the hook as the hook can do that itself. However, when I looked at other hooks
I found that they were passing out nullArray - this is a legacy method that precedes
being on a php version that supported default params when passing by reference.

It's further known to introduce intermittent hard to debug issues. This adds the new hook
and also adds standardisation to the other hooks for pre+delete.

I've left the create one for now but GroupContact is a good example of something
close to what we want to standardise on there